Mariam Sulakian

It’s been a long while and I’m still thinking about you.

They are sick of hearing me talk about you.

I’ve been with others but nobody compares to you.

I am bound. To you.

Today I heard of news and fought against my instinct

to rush to you and put my head beside yours

and tell you the things they will never know.

But I know some happiness of mine is nothing

more than your emotional demise,

unstable, a liar accusing another of lying.

Everything is my fault? I am to bear your negatives

and hide my loves from you–for you judge,

for you fight, for you terrify. You terrify me .

You berate and control, tie me to the anchors of your

twisted heart.

I love you. I love you and I dread you.

You lift me through suffocation then cut me into the waters

of your created hell…

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